January 10, 2007

Product vs. Process

The Painting

He was a little boy
And he was going to paint.
“What are you going to paint?”
Asked the teacher.

“The sky,” replied the little boy
And he picked up the brush
And dipped it into the paint
And painted a big blue sky
With a big yellow sun.

Then he turned around for
The teacher’s approval
But she moved on
To another little boy.

Then the little boy
Remembered the sky at dawn
With pink fluffy clouds
And a soft grey background.

So he dipped his brush
Into the pink and grey
And painted the sky at dawn.
But he’s seen other skies –
The sky at sunset
All red and orange and purple
So he painted the sky at sunset
Streaked with red
And orange and purple
And all the colours ran
Into each other
And the paper was very wet.

Then he painted the sky at night
And he dipped his brush
Into the dark blue
And studded the paper with
White stars and a yellow moon
And the sky before a storm
Angry and grey and dark,
And then he put down his brush
And stood back
Looking at what he had done

And that the colours had all run together,
All the blue and the pinkand
Red and orange and purple
And yellow
And had made a grey wet mess

“Goodness,” said the teacher
When she came back,
“That doesn’t look like the sky.”

But the little boy didn’t care.
It was exactly how
He wanted it
And he carefully put the painting
Away to dry.

by Winnie Pe##, 198#*
* unfortunately the only copy I have is very old and some letters were cut off the original by the photocopier.

Taking a look at some of the most recent blog images reminded me to post it. I wish I had read it when I was doing my A Levels and constantly getting criticism for not sharing the same vision as my art teacher; maybe things would have turned out differently. For starters I wouldn’t experience the urge to be sick every time I see a vase of dying flowers.

M xxx


January 09, 2007

Dissertation?

How to get it write.

  1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  5. Avoid clichés like the plague.
  6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
  7. Be more or less specific.
  8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
  9. One should never generalise.
  10. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
  11. Don’t use no double negatives.
  12. Eschew ampersands, & abbreviations etc.
  13. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
  14. Understatement is always the best way to put forward earth shaking ideas.
  15. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  16. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  17. Who need rhetorical questions?
  18. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  19. One word sentences? Eliminate.
    And finally…
  20. Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.

Anon.

:) M xxx


January 08, 2007

Oh and another thing

I disappeared for a while. But I now have hot steaming broadband being pumped straight into my room, so love me or hate me I’m back; Funnier, cuter and even more outrageously employable than before. Cue 24/7 msn in t minus 9 hours… well, a girl has to sleep


Dear Mr/Ms World

Enough.

Just give me a goddamn job already.

Not that I’m impatient or anything.

Lots of love,

Mia.


December 13, 2006

Mary

Mary

November 27, 2006

K4rmageddon

Writing about web page http://www.joinees.org/k4/

Random Acts of Kindness

Oxford Street, 2-4pm Saturday 2nd December 2006

Free Hugs!

Just to get you in the mood…


thanks to the blogger who posted this video a while back, but I couldn’t find your post!

November 23, 2006

Moving house (I wish I was)

I need to move. The urge is as strong as the one that makes geese fly stupid distances to warmer climes over the winter. So far after aaages of looking I’ve found a place not only nearby but over a pub and it’s free! woo-ha! (in return for a little barwork which I couldn’t care less about). Hot damn ladies and gents, hot damn. unfortunately it’s for two, but I don’t think my aura will count as another unit of Mia. So the search continues, but what an awesome find eh? Can’t wait to get job and consequently get money’d. rah.

xxx


November 21, 2006

Electric six: Danger! Danger!...

...Political Correctness!

Why does Radio 1 do this to me? Some genius suggests to the DJ that they play “Gay Bar”. And they did. I was genuinely overjoyed and proceeded to “get down and boogie” as is my custom.

Until…

To my shock and horror they edited out the words.

Was it the sentence “Do you have any money? I’m going to take all your money!” that offended them? No.

So it must have been the outrageous “I’ve got something to put in you! at the gay bar!” surely?! No.

They got rid of “let’s start a nuclear war!”

Are they worried that the general public will take it too seriously? That people will start protesting “Let’s start a war! oh pretty pretty please!”. They must be really concerned that people are going to take it to heart. These five little words that come from a band that also gave us the tracks “Naked Pictures Of Your Mother”, “I Buy The Drugs” and “Chocolate Pope”. Clearly a group begging to be taken seriously on the international political scale.

I was speechless. This world has gone insane, or this country at least. I mean, good grief, the song is called “Gay Bar” for god’s sake, It’s not exactly Byron. I think somebody in the upper eschelons of the BBC must have pulled their pants on too quickly this morning, or at least I hope that’s the reason beause I am losing faith in the world quickly enough without these trifling acts of stupidity.

ugh.

M xxx


November 13, 2006

Study Group?

Radio 1 Newsbeat keep on mentioning reports from the American “Iraq Study Group”, and I’m sure I can’t be the only person picturing these teenage officials sitting round a desk in the library in their lunch hour with a basket of home-baked muffins – Legally Blonde style. I just can’t help it. Couldn’t they have picked something more official sounding like “Iraq Critical Research Analyst Group” or something, I thought that was what business buzzwords were invented for?

M xxx


November 07, 2006

Impulse Purchases.

I am a rare creature indeed in that the *less* important something is the *more* time I seem to lavish on it. I can spend an hour debating over the various merits of a mocha frescato vs an amaretto one. waste eons deciding on menus, nail varnish, adjectives and socks; Millennia on penny sweets. And then bought a car on ebay in a couple of seconds. Christ. And seeing how my parents bought a house in a day, I guess it’s genetic. Still, now I am armed with une voiture! wooha! And when I switched it on it started playing Muse at me; twas love at first sound. I get urges to run outside and pet it.

It was scary tho. My first unaccompanied trip consisted of 40 minutes driving out of the outskirts of London in the dark in an unfamiliar car on huge roads just after rush hour. Very much thrown in at the deep end but I (and the beast) survived. And yes the beast – for it is identical to the baby but with two more doors. And another thing, the insurance lady drove me nuts with the car doors. 4 + 1 = 5. FIVE goddamnit…

And as thought of the day, why do blaspheming swearwords not merit an ”*”, for I’ve never ever seen it in my life and I was wondering.
eg. “Chr*stw*gg*ns”, “Chr*st-on-a-B*ke”
Discuss.

The Beast

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