Happy Christmas … And I Mean This

Writing about web page http://www.economist.com/node/21541767

The Christmas issue of The Economist has a piece on euphemisms. Euphemisms are things you say that soften your true meaning. Now, I think of myself as someone that normally favours plain speaking. Interpreted consistently, that suggests I would avoid euphemisms. Not so. I am British, after all, and the British invented insincerity.

Here are my three most frequent ways around the truth. If you are a student and you've had a letter from me, you've almost certainly met at least one of these before.

Thank you for your request.

This really means: "You're wasting my time." Here's another:

I should be glad if you would" (do something).

This really means: "Do it. Now!" (As does "It would be most helpful if you could".) And one more:

I realize you will be disappointed by this outcome.

This really means: "I'm impressed you made the effort to write your idiotic suggestion down in words."

To conclude, let me offer all my readers:

Very best wishes for Christmas and the New Year.

Which really means: "I want food and drink in front of the telly. Leave me alone!"

Mark Harrison : 21 Dec 2011 14:25 |  Tags: Truth |  Comments (1) |  Report a problem