All 14 entries tagged Benefactors Big Brother

How to spot…

How to spot:

A handy summary for those visiting Benefactors in the next couple of weeks:

The English Student

Likes – Reading.
Dislikes – grammatical errors, having her subject slagged off.

The Female Engineer

Appearance – Red hair. Lots of it. Not very tall. Usually in glasses.
Likes – Books, arguing, milk chocolate Magnums, bread and jam.
Dislikes – Grammatical mistakes. And don't offer her alcohol. Just don't.

The Male Engineer

Likes – Drinking, playing computer games, sleeping.
Dislikes – Essay writing, homework.

The Female Classics Student

Appearance – Brown hair, brown eyes, quizzical expression. Can do the eyebrow thing.
Likes – Doing the eyebrow thing, Odysseus, Spartacus.
Dislikes – essays on Greek pottery.

The Male Psychology Student

Appearance – clothes with holes in. Brown hair, blond highlights.
Likes – Drinking games, Southern Comfort and something.
Dislikes – Being told he's wrong.

: 11 Jun 2005 16:40 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (18) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

What on earth?

What on earth is wrong with everyone?

I mean, it's a sad reflection on the complete lack of work we've done throughout the year, but the whole of Benefactors has been afflicted with Examinitis!

It's an epidemic!

: 27 May 2005 12:00 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (3) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Weekends

Weekends are a bit of a black hole in Benefactors halls. The only bright spot on the horizon is Saturday night, whatever happens then.

Boogie Nights and crazy dancing is always good.

But anyway, weekends can be slow. And dull. In fact, occasionally they are so dull that they force people into (shock horror) WORKING!

I know. It's a tragedy. At a university and everything.

: 04 Mar 2005 15:31 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (0) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

The English Student (female)

Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm lazy. I can't be bothered to make up a whole entry just now, plus it would be a bad idea to inadvertently offend anyone. Which I'm pretty good at.

At any rate, English students: good to have around. if you ever need in-depth analysis of…umm…any sort of issue in any work of literature, they're the people you'd go to.

Unless they're trying to kick you out of your lecture theatre, but that's another story. :)

Benefactors English students live upstairs, and are usually seen in the common room with less frequency than some of the other species mentioned here.

Nonetheless you can probably find them on Wednesday nights, doing handstands against walls, and one-handed cartwheels.

Here's a picture so you can recognise them:

: 19 Feb 2005 16:58 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (2) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Veni vidi vici

Well, actually. Veni vidi vici means 'I came I saw I conquered'. But as it happens, my dad is now over to visit, despite the unfortunate getting-lost-in-the-dark-in-Tamworth thing.

Had dinner in Xanana's, rambled at me (and a few of the Benefactors crew too. Guys, I apologise. He rambles as much as I do, it's a dreadful family trait) and then I sent him off to find the B and B again.

I offered him my room, I said, 'Don't worry, I'll share with someone' but no. And he doesn't book into the Village Hotel (cos I know where that is) or somewhere in Coventry (cos I could probably find that) but into somewhere obscure and far away.

Ah well. All's well that ends well, as Shakespeare put it.

And tomorrow we're going to Birmingham and I'm going to go shopping for the first time in ages.

Oh, and I got the nicest email in the world from Hannah, so happy me!

: 11 Feb 2005 22:16 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (1) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Games Night…oh well. Maybe next week.

Games Night was, I have to say, a bit of a let-down from my point of view.

We did watch Dirty Dancing though, which completely rocked.

But then not many games were actually played. Except for the patented How long can certain people who shall remain nameless ignore me for game.

Which sucks, frankly, I don't like being ignored. And you would think I'd be used to it by now, but still not. Ah well.

Anyways, I've been left on my own to figure out what exactly it was I said.

And I don't have a clue, I really don't. So I have now resolved not to think about it, because you know the whole thing where you don't think about something consciously but the rest of your brain's on the problem, and then it solves it while you're doing maths or whatever.

Either way. I have much work to do before Dad comes tomorrow.

So I shall depart.

: 10 Feb 2005 12:14 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (8) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

How to pull in Benefactors…evil laugh

Ah, the irony.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Never having pulled before, inside Benefactors or out, this is possibly the most ironic blog entry I have ever attempted.

But hey, what's life without challenge? And irony, obviously.

1. Identify your target: For full details, see my published works. [/pointless HP quoting] Figure out which of these rare student species you particularly fancy. See the rest of the Benefactors Big Brother section for details.

2. Identify the best place to pick them up: eg the Common Room, the kitchen, Top B, Varsity, Boogie Nights, Score, etc.

May I advise at this point that you don't take the phrase 'pick them up' literally. The female Engineering student hates being touched especially, and Grevious Bodily Harm may ensue. And I don't want sued.

3. Think up your pickup line. Popular suggestions include:

"Morning!" Note: this doesn't work so well in the afternoons.
"Hey all!"
"Hi"
"Hello there!"
"A'right?" Pronounced 'aw rite?' with an upward inflection as denoted by the question mark.
"How you doin'?"

4. Lure them into a dark corner. Unless you're an attention seeker. In which case skip this step and go straight to…

5. Pull them (in the dark corner or in front of the assembled crowd if you are an aforementioned attention-seeker)

6. Watch to see if they are going to slap you. If they are displaying any of these signs:
– staring incredulously at you
– glaring and raising their fists
– running at you yelling
Then leave. Fast. Before something bad happens to you.

You can't fail! Unless, of course, they don't fancy you, you're very short (in which case stand on a chair for step 5) or you decide that actually no, it would be a bad idea.

EDIT:

Bonus STEP 7: (thank you Pippa and Luke) Ply them with alcohol/Onken (apparently it works, I dunno)/chocolate.

PPS: I wasn't talking about pulling me. *rolls eyes*

: 09 Feb 2005 19:17 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (14) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

The Psychology Student (male)

A very rare species, but one that is commonly observed around Benfactors. Likely places to spot this rather enigmatic creature include the Common Room (of course), the upstairs kitchen, the downstairs kitchen (when the overwhelmingly bad hygiene of the upstairs kitchen proves too much) and in his room, most likely on the computer.

Championship Manager and comedy programmes a must.

Drinks like a fish (when it can be afforded), swears like a trooper and tells really weird stories.

If you look behind Benefactorus Alexis you will see, in the far distance, beyond the horizon, the line he is constantly on the wrong side of. In fact, the last time he saw the line was approximately 1998, when he stepped over it once, saw it got him lots of attention, and decided to stay there. The boundaries of taste can occasionally be seen, but only if you have a pair of binoculars.

Not a species that inspires indifference: you will either like him or you won't. And if you don't like him it's a bit tough

Can be seen in the company of the female law student, the female engineering student (watch out for flying crockery/sarcasm), or possibly with the Classics student (they will engage each other in long debates on which subject is better/more useless).

Name: Benefactorus Alexis

Appearance: Too much style to be straight, as one keen observer put it. Blond highlighted hair which is usually straightened. Jeans with…occasionally interestingly positioned holes in. And occasionally just really big tears. Thus this species is under threat from wintertime hypothermia due to the inadequacy of some of his clothing.

Likes: Championship Manager, West Brom, making inappropriate comments, his hair straighteners.

Dislikes: Admitting he's wrong, being told he can't do something, writing essays.

And, as is now standard, here's a lovely picture of him:

: 08 Feb 2005 17:21 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (5) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Games Night again. Erm…what are you doing?

Well, yesterday was Wednesday so…Games Night!

But not as we know it.

First, we were a bit restricted in numbers. Rachel had gone out, John and Nina had gone out, and Anna wasn't well.

But we still had a grand total of seven people for most of it (well, the interesting bit).

Me, obviously.
Vicky G
Adele
Rebecca
Sarah
Jenny
Alex (Bachelor's Pad Blondy)

We were later joined by Curly Alex, Paul et al.

But that was later.

After some obligatory gymnastics we attempted something more adventurous.

After, of course, trying a few gymastic things.

I can, as it turns out, do a handstand against a wall on a third attempt. As can Jenny. Alex, as it turns out, gets hurt when he tries. Vicky G can almost put her leg behind her head. Which is very impressive. Tomas can do a really odd thing where he puts his legs over his arms and stands on his hands. And Alex can jump up from lying on his back (I did try this one, but I looked like a drunken crab stuck on its back.)

Anyways, then came the obligatory 'what shall we do now?'

"Let's make a pyramid!" someone suggested.

I swear, it wasn't me.

But there is photographic evidence now, if the pictures turn out. I'll try and scan them in and get them up when they're developed.

Let's just say that the kneeling one worked best, and that I don't have any pictures of the one where I nearly asphyxiated Alex.

: 03 Feb 2005 12:22 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (16) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

The Classics Student (female) Now with picture!

Is there such a thing as a male Classics student?

Well…not in Benefactors, so I don't care.

The Classics Student (female) can normally be seen in the common room.

Appearance: Long brown hair, brown eyes, sceptical expression.

Likes: Alan Partridge, Blackadder, pasta, pizza, swinging keys on SU strap thingy.

Dislikes: Writing essays on Greek pottery.

WARNING! Do NOT, I repeat, do not ever tell the Classics Student that Classics is a pointless degree.

She will get annoyed.

And that would be bad.

Here is a beautiful picture. Inspired by Paul I have decided paint is fun.

: 29 Jan 2005 16:21 |  Tags: Benefactors Big Brother |  Comments (43) |  Close comments |  Report a problem