I just stapled my finger
No really, I actually am that stupid. It was bloody painful. The moral of this story is – don't put your finger in a stapler to see what happens.
19 May 2005 21:42
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[Skip to the latest comment]Lisa Cooper
OM…. are you ok?!?!?!?!
19 May 2005, 21:47
I'll live! (hopefully)
It was a bit sore for a while but I think it's getting better now…
19 May 2005, 21:50
Andrew Ingram
I had a confrontation with a guitar string last night.
19 May 2005, 21:53
Lisa Cooper
Ooh guitar strings are the worst. so joe you actually have a staple in your hand??? the most exciting thing i did was try to rip a lid off a tin of cat food and cut three fingers off. well not off. but almost.
19 May 2005, 22:03
Ouch!
Nope mine wasn't that bad at all. It just stuck in by a few millimeters, I said "ow", then pulled my finger out. The staple is mostly still in the stapler.
19 May 2005, 22:04
Lisa Cooper
mostly… er… is that like biting into an apple and finding half a maggot?
19 May 2005, 22:05
Andrew Ingram
it's mostly like that.
19 May 2005, 22:12
Eeew!! That sounds raaaank!
No. Okay, here it is in all the gory detail!
So inquisitive Mr. Joe was looking at the stapler and wondering…
Of course, Mr. Joe assumed that the staple came out graaadually not in a big rush! So he stuck his finger in and very slowly and gently squeezed it down, waiting for the feel of a point of metal to touch the middle of the tip of his finger. By middle, I mean basically the centre of where all the swirls are on your finger print. So, he squeezed very gently, until eventually…
It came at his finger like a… like a… nasty likely pokey metal thing, and stabbed him. Mr. Joe realised that there was a bit of staple puncturing his finger pretty quickly so he took it out as fast as he possibly could, then started laughing. For you see, he realised immediately the comedy of his stupidity.
It was quite sore, so he rubbed some Noxema (a good healing cream) on it, and the pain was soothed and his finger felt better. In fact, right at this minute it feels almost completely better.
When he went back to look at the stapler (for the staple was still mostly lodged in it, like when you have a staple jam), Mr. Joe could see exactly how much staple had gone into his finger. It wasn't very much. It was about 2mm. Look on your ruler though! 2mm is quite big compared to a finger!
And that is the story of Mr. Joe and the stapler.
The End
19 May 2005, 22:19
Elizabeth
hahahah thats so funny!
you are clearly insane, joe! it has been confirmed. Only 5 yr olds are meant to test out staplers like that.
(See, I'm not really nice to him).
19 May 2005, 22:31
:'(
19 May 2005, 22:31
Andrew Ingram
poor Joe.
still, you deserved it for being better at exams than me.
19 May 2005, 22:34
it was only about a millimetre that the staple was coming out joe!
19 May 2005, 22:35
Lisa Cooper
Do you guys know each other? I mean, obviosuly Lizzie and Joe do… er… yeah. Gosh I really miss these exciting events.
19 May 2005, 22:41
Andy – gasp! How dare you :P
You'll be pleased to hear then that my Compiler Design exam today was a complete disaster, and my prediction is below 50%. Yay!
19 May 2005, 22:46
Andrew Ingram
Yay!
I mean crap.
I only answered 50% of graphics though, which is annoying since it was the easiest paper i've had so far. Unfortunately I forgot some key things in a mad 3 hours of panic.
19 May 2005, 22:54
ali
ya i stapled my finger at school and omg did it hurt i like almost passed out they had to give me a tetness shot n everything omg it hurt so bad
13 Sep 2005, 21:56
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