January 27, 2006

the company of amazing inventions

Interesting excerpt from an article in a national newspaper :

…recently acclaimed The Warwick Inventions Company (world enterpreneur of year 2005) was successfully spun out of Warwick University's Chemistry, Engineering and Philosophy departments two years ago. Now the market leader, it's rapid ascent to the top has not gone unnoticed- the successful model WIC implemented is being closely analysed by leading British institutions such as Oxbridge & Goldsmiths.

A small company of 42 dedicated employees, CEO Floda Ye Hetlir attributes himself and the company's combination of facist & socialist principles for its success: "Using a highly trained workforce of mainly gypsy children, we've built up an arsenal of products, renegaded on some deals and then proceeded to blitzkrieg our opposition into submission."

He argues success lies with constant conquest, i.e. newer bolder products that will take the market by storm. And a strengthing portfolio is what the company is achieving. In their annual report WIC mentions several exciting products that have increased turnover by 12.3478%:

Yummy perfume range: Non- provocative scented perfumes, including: Oven fresh bread, Coriander herbs & Diesel exhaust pour homme scents.

Pinchynator and Pinchynator deluxe: are a range of brightly coloured high definition low density plastic sheets that are clipped to the trouser or skirt in a manner that covers the derriere, thus preventing pinching. Size of the sheet covers most derriere sizes (though not all).

Drunk Water: Get drunk without drinking alcohol! Yes thats right, DW bypasses all of those nasty side effects that alcohol has on you!! No more liver damage, bad breath, rotting teeth, red ruddy cheeks and nose, memory loss, alcoholic poisoning, nausea or hang overs!! Its true, its real and its coming here soon!!! Note there is a warning that drinking DW will induce dipsomania.

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I feel proud that Warwick is competing with the best of them.


- 2 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Christopher Doidge

    I'm confused as to how the philosophy department had anything to do with those products???

    12 Jun 2005, 09:19

  2. Likewise, the article doesn't elaborate on that, but they follow closely to the following philosophies:

    WIC insignia is inscribed with: Vim Pyramidis in saxibus quadratis- without the pyramid we are nothing.

    And WIC also have an motto, (well more of a mantra that Ye hetlir insists company personal repeat 7 times a day): Hodie animi nostri, postridie orbis: Today our souls, tomorrow the world.

    lovely.

    15 Jun 2005, 00:54


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