All 3 entries tagged Londonhome

Adventures in the Apple

Last Friday I went to New York. I had an early flight from Birmingham International airport which I must say is a really cool airport. I mean they have this lovely breakfast bar with fresh fruit and croissants and cooked breakfasts and everything. So after eating chips from Burger King I went through to the lounge area. I found out the Pope was breathing again (bless his soul) and also that you have to look at the monitors and go to a gate before you can board a plane (thank God I called my best mate, Ayesha, otherwise I would probably still be in the lounge now!) Anyway the flight was with Continental whose planes are a pile of shit but the food and service comes highly recommended (there is no recommendation higher than one from myself).

Let me assure you that it is no myth that NYC is amazing for shopping. And it is so cheap compared to here; it's amazing. It is also absolutely freezing but I can highy recommend handwarmers purchased from Duane Reade which can be found on the corner of every block, and now also stocks Cadbury's Dairy Milk, a great leap forward from dirty old Hershey's, which (and Tarek can vouch for me) has an after-taste that can only be described as sick.

We went for a horse and carriage ride through Central Park which I can also highly recommend although you should request the horse that can do 0 to 60 in 4.2 seconds as ours was a little slow. I recommend the Tea Emporium which is this posh little restaurant that serves lots of different kinds of tea that taste like you are drinking something that you should be looking at in your garden, and they don't appreciate it when you request PG Tips because apparently that isn't a flavour. Their scones come lowly recommended as they resemble rock cakes and I don't like rock cakes. Again I would recommend you ask for the waiter who does 0 – 60 in under 4 seconds as the service was ridiculously slow. All in all a fab place!

Now on to the main attraction. This is called Joe Junior's (I think) and it is a small diner that looks really crumby from the outside and even crumbier from the inside. It can be found by getting a bus and then walking along a street till you see a library at which point you know you are nearly there (please see photo for precise directions). It serves amazing food, my favourite being Jewish French toast with maple syrup, hash browns, scrambled eggs and tea (although I do use the term loosely). Now when my mum n Maria used to say it was the best part of the holiday, I used to think they were demented donkeys, but now I know what they mean.

I have no more time now to write anything else, as when you are a jetsetter like me and you go to NYC in the middle of term, it puts you under pressure when you return, and can even drive you to suicide. Here is a link with some useful suggestions if you are contemplating suicide:

link

Alternatively, here are the directions to the diner:

: 04 Mar 2005 13:27 |  Tags: Londonhome |  Comments (1) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

The Appendix/Ex-Boyfriend Analogy!

"He was this thing that I did not actually need, but basically became like a part of me and I got really used to it, but then I got it removed and removing it hurt and I'm left with a scar but i think its for the best."

Now if that is not on the same level as Einstein's theory of relativity or Newton's gravity, what is?

Bibliography
Kumar, K. The Appendix. MSN. Cyber Space: Jan 2005

: 31 Jan 2005 13:21 |  Tags: Londonhome |  Comments (10) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Phat Head

K…this bit of my site is dedicated to you, the only bitch in my life! I will update it as often as I speak to you, as every time I do, I feel there is something worthy of being noted in the mighty indelible ink. Understandably, no one will 'get' what is to follow, as quite honestly, we are on a much higher level than the average person, and our Jane Austen humour is to be appreciated by ourselves, and the good lady alone. Alas, here a few of my favourite K-Roy memories…

We begin with some quotes...
“knicker-wetting, gut-wrenching, snot-producing hilarity”
"you realise (chingadas) have an excessive amount of body hair?"
"matted arse hair" – it has to be said, that is the ultimate cuss!!
"yeh, you're really jus the next Christopher Columbus!"
"GUFFAW"
"this is definitely one memory for the cerebral dustbin." Her answer for getting over embarrassing drunken moments!

...and now for some random blurtings...
Donald Duck…Mentor…Peeing in a cup…You pulling my hair out…me winding you…Majorca…The Gin…"Sheee fell ova!"..."My blah has been violated!!"...Big purple sanitary towel…Being fed chips off the toilet floor…"Kanikaaaa, you are so sweet"..."walking the dog"..."maybe you have cigarettes up your nose!" (oh how witty we were!)...Walking down Finchley Rd in our pjs at 4am (I know you've made a habit of it, but to me it was still a random once in a lifetime)...je fay la vasell!

Things I admire about you...
The way you managed to grow your head so big without it bursting
The way you try n boil potatos without water
The way you are such a genius yet you have trouble working a kettle and toaster
Your belief in the miracle of the Virgin Mary, and how the lady in Boots reacted to it!

: 26 Oct 2004 22:31 |  Tags: Londonhome |  Comments (1) |  Close comments |  Report a problem