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Porn Review

Title:

Airport 69 - Mile High Swingers [DVD]

ASIN:

B00023JH1I

Rating:

Another Halloween was upon us. However, being jaded second years we were not overly keen on going to the Halloween Ball at the Union so we decided to do Halloween hermit-stylee and get some vids and a pizza.

Off we trundled to Blockbuster, only to find that we weren't as original as we liked to think – nearly all the horror movies were already out. So we had to settle on 21 Grams (good but confusing), Secretary (ok), and then, for good measure, we grabbed a porno which was discreetly positioned on the bottom shelf (presumably so as not to cause anyone the embarrassment of having to stretch up to the top shelf and risk knocking everything off in a cascade of naughty titles).

But where to start?! We soon found that there was one particular star, a Ms Chloe Jones, who appeared to feature in a number of the adult films, and decided that she was the girl for us. This led us to our next conundrum – which vid to pick? Soon, our eyes lit upon our final choice, 'Airport 69: Mile High Swingers' and we just had to have it. It was everything we wanted – beautiful girls, great sounding story lines, and a little international flavour…

When we were at the till (we being three straight girls, one straight boy, and three homosexual boys), the sales assistant asked 'Are all these the right ones?' I confirmed that they were, indeed, correct. 'Is this the right one?' he asked, holding up said porno. I assured him that it really was, and he explained that he had to check because sometimes people 'accidentally' picked up the wrong titles when they were similar to 'real' film titles, for example 'Shaving Ryan's Privates' (cue embarrassed sniggers from those of you who've watched that one.)

As we left, he cheerily called 'Enjoy your movies!'

Now that's what I call good customer service.

Aaaaanyway, to the film. Frankly, I was blown away by the storyline. Basically, two sexily-clad air hostesses tell each other anecdotes from their many cheeky airbourne encounters, and we get to witness what happened. No one in it is that good-looking, but some of the sex scenes make it all worth it: the silicone-enhanced breasts take on a life of their own, bouncing away like they're about to take flight (if you'll excuse the pun). There were certain glitches in continuity and we did wonder how some of them were able to partake in intercourse whilst their pants were on, but apart from that, top-notch performances all round.

For the boys and lesbians – there is a little lesbian action involving a vibrator and lots of tongues.

For the girls and homosexual males – sorry, but the men are minging.

For everyone – we get to see some female genitalia quite close-up, and loads of tits, but sadly no penises.

I would like to thank 'Diva Entertainment' for bringing us our little slice of soft-core porn, it was thoroughly enjoyed by all my housemates, although alas only for the comedy value. It also helped to educate our gay buddies about what they're missing out on…!

: 31 Oct 2004 13:02 |  Tags: Reviews |  Comments (3) |  Close comments |  Trackbacks (1) |  Report a problem