June 04, 2005

A Grand Day Out


Stay tuned for the full story of our trip to…The Monkey Sanctuary in Looe

May 31, 2005

Nerves and Blogging

I must say i'm disappointed by the lack of funny dreams that were(n't) posted in the last comments section. Thought that would be a good talking point, I did. Oh well, that's what exam time does to you. I should know, I had 2 exams over a week ago and my last one is tomorrow. I thought i'd be able to chill out over the past week but tomorrow's exam has been constantly on the brain. Now it is upon me and i'm pooing myself, but after that it's red rover as the cockney's say. Maybe my blogging will pick up pace from here on in, but it won't if there's no regular audience participation. In other words, comment like crazy! Here's a good starting point: what did you make of the new Star Wars film? I'm a fan…

Matt xx


May 21, 2005

Pope Dream (It's a bit like pipe dream, do you see?)

The other night I had one of the most bizarre dreams I've had in a long while. My first year was rife with crazy dreams, perhaps due to the constant intoxication, who knows? But this is up there with the best!

Basically the dream worked on the premise that some people retrieve pieces of things that have become an institution and then have been historically torn down, such as the Berlin Wall and bits of turf from Wembley. In a similar vain I held a piece of Pope John Paull II's foot. Even more bizarrely, the said piece of the Pope's body (which incidently was made of stone!?!) arrived to me by accident. It had been shipped over from Rome in a box of bananas; Rome, of course, being famous for the exportation of comedy fruit. How the foot found its way into the box I don't know, but it ended up tangled in a bunch of bananas I later bought from the gargantuan Tesco in New Malden. However, I only noticed the piece of foot when it was floating in a cup of tea I had made. With me so far?
I fished the stoney flesh out of the cup and immediately knew what it was, obviously!?! My friend Mark was with me and he asked what I was going to do with it? Not being a catholic the piece didn't mean a great deal to me sentimentally, but a bit of the dead Pope did equate to a quick fix of cash!
"I can make a fortune out of this!" I said. "I'll sell it on ebay. You can buy anything on ebay!" Which is true indeed.
Unfortunately I don't know how much money I somewhat selfishly made as I woke up at this point. Maybe the gods (or God I suppose, the Pope's not greek) were unhappy with my ingenius/insensitive way of making a tidy sum, and stopped me in my tracks. Of course, it could also have been Virgin Radio playing My Sharona by The Knack which had woken me. Either way, I woke up and said, "Hummmmphhhh!" My usual wake up speak.

Why not relay you're weird dreams on the comments section of this blog entry? (hint hint)

Matt xx


May 19, 2005

No Donkey Punch Today

No Donkey Punch today I'm afraid. I'm revising for an exam tomorrow, Neon's gone to watch Revenge of the Sith and John's a leper who can't work the desk. We'll be back next week though so tune in at 1pm next Thursday!

Matt xx


May 16, 2005

The Good Old Days

Writing about web page http://www.nme.com

Aahh. What a lovely surprise I received today when I went on nme.com and found the top two news stories to be about Oasis and Blur (Oasis on top obviously). It's been 10 years but Britpop is officially back!

Matt xx


May 10, 2005

Everybody needs good Neighbours

Writing about web page http://www.bbc.co.uk/neighbours

Thank Christ, Neighbours is getting good again. After 'The Apocalypse' it looked as though it was dying on its arse but now it's starting to get interesting again thanks to Steffen Dennis the Mennis aka Paul Robinson.
I went on the BBC's Neighbours website to find pictures of Sky Mangel (huh huh, man-gel!) filming our Paul from behind a bush in a lesson of 'How Not to Spy on Someone' but instead I found something much more interesting…

John once told me that Karl and Libby Kennedy were going out in real life, to which I obviously answered: 'Karl, you player!'. But as John pointed out so eloquently, 'Yeah, but they've been working together since she was about 10. He must've been watching the clock with a semi for a good 8 years!' I was sceptical but take a look at these behind-the-scenes pictures of Libby's farewell to Ramsey Street. I think there's a bit of chemistry there but I'll leave you to make up your own minds:

Hmmm…
…interesting…
…ooh, a hug…
…ahh! It's true!

And with Susan watching! The audacity of the man!

Matt xx


May 06, 2005

Donkey Punch Election Day Special – 5th May (obviously)

Writing about web page http://www.radio.warwick.ac.uk

So, the election is over but has anything changed? Apart from a few shifting seats, not really. But did yesterday's Donkey Punch Election Day Special have an impact? No. Could it have done? Perhaps if we were allowed to say anything other than the names of the Parties. Instead, we had to let the music do the talking. Still, it was good fun nonetheless, especially finding tenuous links between certain songs and the election including songs to represent (not endorse obviously) some of the major political parties.

  • Coldplay – Politik
  • Radiohead – You and Whose Army ("mmmmmmmmm…melodic" – Neon)
  • Representing Labour, Kings of Leon as Blair might wake up to a…Red Morning Light!
  • Maximo Park – Graffiti
  • Representing the Green Party, Pulp with Trees
  • Kate Bush – Cloudbusting (featured album Hounds of Love)
  • Rolling Stones because if Blair had lost he might have gone home to his old house and seen his red door and want to…Paint it Black to be like number 10, you see?
  • Flaming Lips – First Past the Post (aka Race for the Prize)
  • Representing Lib Dem, The Beatles as Kennedy would not want to live at number 10 if he had won, he'd want to live in a…Yellow Submarine!
  • The Cure – Push
  • Randy Newman – Political Science

The News, guess what it was about?

  • Belle & Sebastian – Legal Man because Blair used to be one
  • Soulwax – E Talking (Erol Alkan remix). About msn messenger apparently…!
  • Representing the BNP, Refugees by The Tears!
  • Kate Bush – Running up that Hill (featured album Hounds of Love)
  • Public Enemy – Fight the Power
  • Despite all their conflicting policies the basic sentiment of all political candidates is…I Could be so Good for You by Dennis Waterman
  • We could have sworn the election would go…Down to the Wire by Neil Young
  • Bob Dylan – Political World
  • What all political candidates are really saying…I Can Only Disappoint U by Mansun
  • Gerry Rafferty – Baker Street (tune!)
  • Representing the Tories…Bluetonic by The Bluetones (my appologies to The Bluetones)

So there we have it. Next week Donkey Punch will be back to normal but don't forget that also coming up this term is our second cover-versions special and, of course, the Brian Blessed Shouty Shouty Special! Stay tuned every Thursday at 1pm.

Matt xx


April 29, 2005

Barry Chuckle sex scandal!!

Follow-up to Mattanory – Donkey Punch: Thursday 1–3pm on RaW 1251AM from Donkey Punch

Oh my God! Check out the exploits of Chuckle Brother Barry here.
What a naughty Barry!

Matt xx


Mattanory – Donkey Punch: Thursday 1–3pm on RaW 1251AM

Writing about web page http://www.webradioawards.com

This week's Mattanory story had a magical Christmassy bent to it. Some might say it's untimely, others might say it's timeless. You decide:

Twas the Night Before Christmas by Matthew Briant aged 11
The boys didn't believe in Father Christmas. They lay waiting for their father to creep into the bedroom. Suddenly there was a noise in the chimney.
"W…what's…what's that?" stuttered Sean, the youngest of the three children. "I don't know," said Gavin meanfully. "Let's go and find out," said the adventurous voice of Neil, Gavin's twin brother. Neil thinks himself a bit of an Indiana Jones so he grabbed his torch and led the way downstairs.
"We'll try the lounge first," whisperedd Neil, "after all that's where the chimney is." So they marched in. Little Sean didn't know whether to be excited or scared, as a matter of fact he'd lost track of what they were doing but he soon remembered when Neil looked up the chimney for clues. "Nothing in the chimney," announced Neil. Meanwhile Gavin was trying to burn holes in the wrapping paper of his Christmas presents with his torch to see what they were. The boys were getting very tired now so Neil decided they all went to bed. After giving up his operation Gavin went to bed too.
Gavin and Neil fell asleep straight away but Sean was too excited to go to sleep so he just lay awake. Sean lay in bed thinking about Christmas and all of the presents he would get when he heard the jingle of bells. He immediately woke up the twins and they crept downstairs. They peeped into the lounge to see a red and white figure fly up the chimney. When it had gone the children walked into the lounge to find to find lots of presents. "Was that Father Christmas?" said Sean. "Could have been," Neil replied, "but let's go to bed now. We'll see what the presents are in the morning."
When they were in bed they looked out of the window and saw a sledge pulled by raindeer fly across the moon. Ever since that night the children have believed in Father Christmas.

Imagine it's being read by David Bowie and you'll hear Aled Jones wailing in the background.

Merry Christmas one and all.

Matt xx


April 28, 2005

Today's Show: Donkey Punch – Thursday 1–3pm on RaW 1251AM

Writing about web page http://www.webradioawards.com

How do? How do? Here are the songs we picked for your pleasure today:

  • The Futureheads – Decent Days and Nights
  • Primal Scream – Swastika Eyes
  • Fiery Furnaces – My Dog was Lost and Now He's Found
  • Bruce Springsteen – Born to Run
  • Devo – Gut Feeling (Featured album The Life Aquatic Soundtrack)
  • Pixies – My Velouria
  • Gorillaz – Feel Good Inc.
  • Super Furry Animals – Juxtaposed With U
  • The Beatles – I am the Walrus
  • The Rapture – Out of the Races and onto the Tracks

The News, including an interesting story about Daisy Chaining, more to follow.

  • The Soundtrack of our Lives – Infra Riot
  • Sleeper – Sale of the Century
  • Seu Jorge – Rebel Rebel (Life Aquatic)
  • The Verve – Bittersweet Symphony (James Lavelle remix)
  • S Club announcing their split shock horror!
  • Scott Walker – The World's Strongest Man
  • Weezer – Say it Ain't So
  • The Arcade Fire – Crown of Love
  • The Bells – Hurricane Tree
  • Placebo – The Bitter End (the 'Song I Love by a Band I Hate' track)
  • Doves – Snowden

Cheers to all of you who listened.

Matt xx


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