All entries for Saturday 01 January 2005

January 01, 2005

Awesome Icons: Blackbeard

Here's how one commentator described Blackbeard, the dread 18th century devil pirate extraordinaire:

"the embodiment of impregnable wickedness, of reckless daring, a nightmarish villain so lacking in any human kindness that no crime was above him. . . the living picture of an ogre who roamed the seas and withered all before him with his very presence"

This is a fellow so awesome that he carried, at all times, six cocked and loaded pistols in a bandolier across his chest and lit slow burning matches that he tied into his huge coal black beard. He dressed all in black, and was so terrifying to look upon that most of his enemies surrendered immediately. Here is another example of his oustanding contribution to awesome:

"In 1717 he appeared before Governor Charles Eden of North Carolina with 20 of his men and received the king's pardon. Blackbeard appears to have been no stranger to the governor. A contemporary described portions of stolen pirate loot being carried to Eden House and observed that "Governors are but Men." Blackbeard proceeded to acquire a fine home near Bath, North Carolina—an area where frontier morality still prevailed—and was married by Governor Eden to a 16-year-old bride who, unbeknownst to her, was his 14th wife. Ten among her predecessors were still living."

At the peak of his powers he was eventually undone by treachery and the superior numbers of a plucky crew of english seaman, but not before he managed to fight on after sustaining twenty five seperate wounds (five of which were from pistols) and shattered the enemy captain's sword like a twig. By all accounts when his beheaded corpse was thrown overboard it swam three times around the enemy ship in defiance.

His silver plated skull is now used as a drinking cup.

Awesomeness points: 94/100


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