Speaking of "why don't we win anything?"...

Writing about web page http://www.aboutmyvote.co.uk/

Apparently the making of said query with regard to an international sporting event is tantamount to having an interest in politics, if what the Electoral Commission says is anything to go by, in their "if you don't do politics, there's not much you do do" media campaign. (Hee hee: "do do".)

If you haven't seen the adverts on the telly, basically it follows these two cheeky chappies as they go about their daily conversations. The one on the left goes "I don't do politics" in his brummy brogue prompting the other one to proceed to point out that all the things Brummy comments on are in fact related to politics! The point the advert tries to make is that if you think politics is irrelevant to your life, think again, buster, and use your vote in the forthcoming elections.

The campaign is – as I see it – a bit flawed. Did I say a bit? I meant a lot. Let's take a look at what everyday issues are supposedly at stake in this year's election:

• Roadworks. They annoy young Brummy. So, what are the parties going to do about this? According to their manifestos, published last week: nothing, it seems.
• Winning stuff. Bru- actually, I don't like calling him Brummy – I'll call him Bob – must've been watching the wrong Olympics on the telly, cos we won loads last time. And all the government can do to help us win more is to increase funding for sport, which, unsurprisingly, is what all the parties are pledging to do.
• Bananas. Bob looks quizzically at a banana in the shop. The other guy – Tony, let's say – gives him a stern look which says "yes, the fate of bananas too are vulnerable to the whims of the government you elect", which is tosh. Most of us of course realise that the banana is a reference to EU food regulation, but again, none of the parties have a policy on this area.
• Change. Bob only gets £3.50 in change from the supermarket checkout. He can't believe it. It's not that he can't do his sums and mistakenly predicted that he'd get more back; politics is what it is, reckons Tony. I'm afraid, lads, it's just not as simple as that. The free market determines the prices you pay and none of the parties are intent on changing that. Except for the Lib Dems, it turns out. They want to reform the European Common Agricultural Policy and force retailers to pay farmers more for their produce. That means you're gonna get a lot less change under the Lib Dems. So, ordinary man on the street, whatever you do, don't give Chucky your vote.
• Time at the bar. Is called, and again, Bob is quite upset. Again, politics is to blame. So what have the two remaining contenders to say about all this? Labour has already introduced new licensing laws to assist your alcoholism, Bob, but the Tories don't say anything in their manifesto to stand in their way. Either way, it's up to your local whether they stay open for longer and you can't vote for the manager, except with your feet.

So basically, people like Bob who are convinced by the Electoral Commission that they are interested in politics and their vote is useful, will be cruelly disappointed when they discover that their concerns don't concern the parties on offer and therefore voting is a bit pointless really.

To conclude: on election day (May 5th), if all that bothers you about this country is roadworks, our sports teams, the shape of bananas, the amount of change you receive, pub opening hours and the amount of foreigners living in our country, just stay at home.

Daniel Wilson Craw : 17 Apr 2005 18:03 |  Tags: Politics |  Comments (2) |  Report a problem