December 10, 2005

I'm so bored

that I've been googling all my friends…For shame.

Oh la la, la famille

My Jordanian family is mad. Utterrly off their heads the lot of them. Lovely and gifted and astute and aware but fucking mentalists every one. They drive me mad. Their paranoid delusions would give Stalin a run for his money. They are convinced that they are under attack from one another, being swindled, back-stabbed. I find it all very perculiar and rather frustrating. I choose not to get involved. Instead I busy myself with my little cousins. There is a one year old called Selma that is gorgeous. I put her to sleep today. Having a child asleep in your arms is like nothing on earth. There is something so genuine about a child's love and trust. It is uncomplicated by the petty issues of the average wage-earning, mercedes-aspiring adult. I love children. People seem to find that odd because I come across as quite a tough cookie. I'm not really as hard as I make out. I'm a big softie when it comes to the children, the disadvantaged, my family and the eldery. I'm tough with a lot of people at uni because they are pampered to the point where they no longer realise just how priviledged they are. It is sad that some of the luckiest people in the world are discontent purely because they don't have the awareness to see that they already have all they need to be happy. Rage. Agaiin it boils down to me being happy and wanting every one else to be also. Maybe I'm not as mean as I thought.

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