July 22, 2005

"Let us quote", as the good lord once said…

Now then, now then...

Don't you just hate it when magazines run lists of the all-time greatest movie quotes and just get it all wrong? You know the drill - you start fingering their crisp, seductive pages with the highest of hopes but before long they're giving you "I coulda been a contender", "Are you talkin' to me?!" and "Here's looking at you, kid" with all the imagination of a pre-op Charley from Flowers For Algernon. Well, no more!

Here they are, kids – the real bad-boys, the only ones you'll ever need, the zingers that escaped the tastemakers but have somehow entered into pop-culture lore on the sly (plus a couple from Problem Child). Peruse, divulge, enjoy and – of course – regurgitate them endlessly until they basically lose all meaning and simply become another part of your everyday lexis.

In alphabetical order, according to title…

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

President Marshall (Harrison Ford): "Get – off – my – plane!"

(from Air Force One, 1997)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Capt. Clarence Oveur (Peter Graves): "Joey… have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"

(from Airplane!, 1978)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Ash (Ian Holm): "You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? A perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility."

(from Alien, 1979)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale): (to two bemused hookers) "Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album - 'Duke'. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy. Too intellectual. It was on 'Duke' where, ah, Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think 'Invisible Touch' is the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility, yet at the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums.

– Christy, take off your robe.

Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument.

– Sabrina, remove your dress.

In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, and sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to 'Land of Confusion'. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. 'In Too Deep' is the most moving pop song of the 1980s about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting; and lyrics are as positive and affirmative as, ah, anything I've heard in rock.

– Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole.

Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial, and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way. Especially songs like 'In the Air Tonight' and, ha! 'Against All Odds'.

– Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it.

But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group than as a solo artist – and I stress the word, artist. This is 'Sussudio'. A great, great song. A personal favourite…"

(from American Psycho, 2000)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Defence Counsel Arthur Kirkland (Al Pacino): "That man is guilty! That man, there, that man is a slime! He is a slime! If he's supposed to go free, then something really wrong is goin' on here!"
Judge Rayford (Jack Warden): "Mr. Kirkland, you are out of order!"
Kirkland: You're out of order! You're out of order! This whole trial is out of order! (Then, while being dragged out of court by police officers) …I just completed my opening statement!"

(from ...And Justice For All, 1979)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Capt. Willard (Martin Sheen): "Charging someone with murder in this place was like arresting someone for speeding at the Indy 500…"

(from Apocalyse Now, 1979)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Austin Powers (Mike Myers): "You didn't happen to see..." (Observing blind man's white stick) "...Anything at all."

(from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, 1997)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Buford Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson): "Manure… I hate manure!"

(from Back to the Future Part III, 1990)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Coop (Trey Parker): "I'm not gonna do it, dude, end of story!"
Reemer (Matt Stone): "Dude!"
Coop: "Dude!"
Reemer: "Dude!"
Coop: "Dude!"
Reemer: "Dude!"
[Coop looks shocked]
Reemer: "Dude..."
Coop: "...I see your point."

(from BASEketball, 1998)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

The Joker (Jack Nicholson): "Never rub another man's rhubarb!"

(from Batman, 1989)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Serge (Bronson Pinchot): "Ack-well?! – Ackwell Fo-leeey?!"

(from Beverly Hills Cop III, 1994)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Elderly Woman (Robyn Hilton): (While being punched repeatedly by thugs) "Have you ever seen such cruelty?!"

Also:

Governor William J. LePetomane (Mel Brooks): "Harrumph, harrumph, harrumph! – Hey! I didn't get a 'harrumph' out of that guy!"

Also:

Buddy Bizarre (Dom DeLuise): "Cut, cut, this is a closed set!"
Taggart (Slim Pickens): "Piss on you – I'm working for Mel Brooks!"

Also:

Sheriff Bart (Cleavon Little): (To two members of the KKK) "Hey, where are all the white women at?!"

(from Blazing Saddles, 1974)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Banky Edwards (Jason Lee): "Now that, my friend – is a 'shared moment'."

(from Chasing Amy, 1997)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

President Bennett (Donald Moffatt): "How dare you come in here and lecture me! I am the President of the United States!"
Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford): "How dare you, sir…"

(from Clear and Present Danger, 1993)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Alex (Malcolm McDowell): "I was cured, all right..."

(from A Clockwork Orange, 1971)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey): "Alright, alright, alright! I love those redheads!"

(from Dazed and Confused, 1992)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood): "When an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy."
Mayor (John Vernon): "Intent? How did you establish that?"
Callahan: "Well, when a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he ain't out collecting for the Red Cross…"

(from Dirty Harry, 1971)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Mister Senor Love Daddy (Samuel L. Jackson): "Whoa! Y'all take a chill! You got to cool that shit off! And that's the double-truth, Ruth!"

(from Do the Right Thing, 1989)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Pep Streebeck (Tom Hanks): "Well, Muzz – I guess it just you, and me… your balls… and this drawer."

(from Dragnet, 1987)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx): (Singing) "If any form of pleasure is exhibited / Report to me and it will be prohibited / I put my foot down, so shall it be – this is the land of the free! / The last man nearly ruined this place, he didn't know what to do with it / If you think this country's bad off now, just wait til I get through with it!"

(from Duck Soup, 1933)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Peg Boggs (Dianne Wiest): (Applying make-up to Edward) "The light-concealing cream goes on first... and then you blend, and blend, and blend. Blending is the secret. Mm-hm... More concealing cream... You know, your complexion is so fair... that this is a touch of lavender in it! Let's give it a try here... close enough. Okay, this should do the trick here... (Observing his purple face) Huh... - I have another idea. We'll cover up the scars, and start with a completely smooth surface. (Wrestling with stodgy concoction) ...Darn this stuff…!"

(from Edward Scissorhands, 1990)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Lucas (Rory Cochrane): (Upon losing the day's takings at a roulette table) "I wonder if I'll be held responsible for this?!"

(from Empire Records, 1996)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

John Kruger (Arnold Schwarzenegger): (To an alligator he's just blown away) " – You're luggage!"

(from Eraser, 1996)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

D-Fens (Michael Douglas): " - I'm the bad guy?!"

(from Falling Down, 1993)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Nicholas Pike (Michael Nader): "Who are you? Where did you come from?"
The Flash (John Wesley Shipp): "I came from you, Pike! You made me..."

(from The Flash, 1990)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones) "I'm not trying to solve a puzzle here, Richard."
Richard Kimble (Harrison Ford): "Well I am trying to solve a puzzle. And I just found a big piece…"

(from The Fugitive, 1993)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Gunnery Sgt Hartman (R. Lee Ermey): "Well, no shit. What do we have here, a fucking comedian! Private Joker! I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister!"

(from Full Metal Jacket, 1987)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray): "Back off, man. I'm a scientist."

(from Ghostbusters, 1984)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Richard Roma (Al Pacino): "You stupid fucking cunt. Hey, Williamson, I'm talking to you, shithead. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it - asshole? You're fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men!"

(from Glengarry Glen Ross, 1992)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Will Hunting (Matt Damon): "Let the healing begin!"

(from Good Will Hunting, 1997)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Grandpa Fred (Robert Prosky): "Creature what is it that you want?"
Brain Gremlin (Frank Randall): "Fred, what we want is, I think, what everyone wants, and what you and your viewers have: civilization."
Grandpa Fred: "Yes, but what sort of civilization are you speaking of?"
Brain Gremlin: "The niceties, Fred. The fine points: diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition... that's what we're reaching toward. Oh, we may stumble along the way, but civilization, yes. The Geneva Convention, chamber music, Susan Sontag. Everything your society has worked so hard to accomplish over the centuries, that's what we aspire to; we want to be civilized. I mean, you take a look at this fellow here. (A bibbling Gremlin wanders onto the set wearing a daft hat. He shoots him in the head). Now, was that civilized? No, clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilized!"

(from Gremlins 2: The New Batch, 1990)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Martin Blank (John Cusack): "I was hired to kill you. But I'm not going to. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or I have a newfound respect for life."
[In pursuing car]
Mr. Grocer (Dan Aykroyd): "That punk's either in love with that guy's daughter or he's got a newfound respect for life."

(from Grosse Pointe Blank, 1997)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford): (Dressed as a ticket inspector, to a planeful of passengers after hurling a Nazi out of the window) " – No ticket!"

(from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 1989)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Lowell Bergman (Al Pacino): "And Jeffrey Wigand, who's out on a limb, does he go on television and tell the truth? Yes. Is it newsworthy? Yes. Are we gonna air it? Of course not. Why? Because he's not telling the truth? No. Because he is telling the truth, and the more truth he tells, the worse it gets!"

(from The Insider, 1999)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Jay (Jason Mewes): (To Silent Bob) "Fuck you, Fatty."

(from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, 2001)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Jack Robin (Al Jolson): " - Mammy, don't ya know me? It's your little baby! (Singing) I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, my ma-a-a-ammy!"

(from The Jazz Singer, 1927)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Louis Mazzini (Dennis Price): "I shot an arrow in the air; she fell to Earth in Berkeley Square."

(from Kind Hearts and Coronets, 1949)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks): "Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING?! – There's no crying in baseball!"

(from A League of Their Own, 1992)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Frank 'T.J.' Mackey (Tom Cruise): "I swear to God, I will drop-kick those fuckin' dogs if they come anywhere near me."

(from Magnolia, 2000)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Dolores (Kathleen Turner): (looking at book) "The Complete Poems of John Lillison, England's greatest one-armed poet".
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr (Steve Martin): "He wrote 'In Dillan's Grove' and 'Pointy Birds.' (Reading) "O pointy birds, o pointy pointy; anoint my head – anointy-nointy."

(from The Man With Two Brains, 1983)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

The Mask (Jim Carrey): (Making balloon animals) "For you, sir... a poodle!" (He then pops it and it deflates) …Sorry son, dog was rabid, had to put it down."

(from The Mask, 1994)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

James St. James (Emilio Estevez): "Have you seen my gloves, amigo?"
Carl Taylor (Charlie Sheen): " – In the… glove compartamente?!"

(from Men at Work, 1990)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen): "Nice beaver."
Jane (Priscilla Presley): "Thanks. I just had it stuffed."

(from The Naked Gun, 1988)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen): "I like my sex like I like my basketball… one-on-one, with as little dribbling as possible."

(from The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult, 1993)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Junior (Michael Oliver): "Not the nuns... NOT THE NUNS!!!"

Also:

Junior: (Upon being presented with his first taste of "managing money", a one-dollar allowance) "A buck? How do you manage a buck?!"

(from Problem Child, 1990)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Dewey Finn (Jack Black): "Ok, here's the deal. I have a hangover. Who knows what that means?"
Frankie (Angelo Massagli): "Doesn't that mean you're drunk?"
Dewey Finn: "No! It means that I was drunk yesterday!"

(from School of Rock, 2003)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Johnny 5 (Tim Blaney): "Hey, laser-lips! Your mama was a snow-blower!"

(from Short Circuit, 1986)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Charlie MacKenzie (Mike Myers): "Woman! Whoah, man… Whoooah, man! She was a thief, you got to believe; she stole my heart and my cat…"

Also:

Stuart MacKenzie (Mike Myers): "A'reet, now go give your mother a kiss or I'll kick your teeth in!"

(from So I Married an Axe Murderer, 1993)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher): "Will somebody get this great big walking carpet out of my way?!"
Han Solo (Harrison Ford): "No reward is worth this…"

(from Star Wars, 1977)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Mikey Livingston (Jonathan Osser): "Consuelo, what is rape exactly?"
Consuelo (Lupe Ontiveros): "It is when you love someone and they don't love you, and you decide to do something about it."

(from Storytelling, 2001)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

General Zod (Terence Stamp): "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!"

(from Superman II, 1980)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Michael Corben (Richard Grieco): "I'll nail your ass to the wall!"

(from Teen Agent, 1991)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox): "GIVE ME - A KEG - OF BEER!"

(from Teen Wolf, 1986)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Casey Jones (Elias Koteas): " – Cricket?"
Raphael (Josh Pais): "Cricket?! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand Cricket!"

(from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 1990)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Timothy Evans (John Hurt): "But... it was Christie done it!"

(from 10 Rillington Place, 1973)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Network Executive (Philip Baker Hall): "For God's sake, Chris! The whole world is watching. We can't let him die in front of a live audience!"
Christof (Ed Harris): "Why not? He was born in front of a live audience…"

(from The Truman Show, 1998)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Scott Turner (Tom Hanks): "Don't eat the car! Not the car! Oh, what am I yelling at you for, you're a dog!"

(from Turner and Hooch, 1989)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Dave Bowman (Keir Dullea): "Open the pod bay doors, HAL…"
HAL 9000 Computer: "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that…"

(from 2001: A Space Odyssey, 1968)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Buck Russell (John Candy): (To High School Principal with large wart) "Take this quarter. Go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face!"

Also:

Buck: (To drunken Clown) "Get in your mouse, and get out of here."

(from Uncle Buck, 1989)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Fenster (Benicio del Toro): "Han' me-uh keys, you fu'in co'sucker!"

(from The Usual Suspects, 1995)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Glen (Ed O'Neill): "Why is it that if you kill a man in the heat of battle, it's called heroic; but if you kill a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?"

(from Wayne's World, 1992)

– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -

Withnail (Richard E. Grant): "Don't you threaten me with a dead fish!"

(from Withnail & I, 1987)

LESSONS LEARNED

1) Hell hath no fury like Pacino scorned.
2) Harrison Ford gives good growl and is the only man who can get away with talking back to the President of the United States.
3) An artless quote from Jason Mewes is worth ten Brando monologues.
4) Never underestimate a film starring John Ritter.
5) The 1980s is a veritable treasure-trove of great quotes from suspect movies.

Your additional contributions are welcome...


- 39 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. Andy Christ

    Somehow that manages to be more boring than your interminable playlists. An herculean effort indeed.

    26 Jul 2005, 21:30

  2. You had the classic Indiana Jones quote, but where was this gem?

    Silent Bob (Kevin Smith): (to passengers after throwing Loki and Bartelby off the train) "No ticket."

    (from Dogma, 1999)

    And I take it – from their absence – you still haven't seen Anchorman or Napoleon Dynamite. You must.

    27 Jul 2005, 15:47

  3. stone

    missed the speech from 'team america'

    27 Jul 2005, 16:07

  4. Carter

    Hey, "Andy Christ", just as well you keep coming back here to read this thing if it bores you so much, eh?!

    28 Jul 2005, 11:02

  5. Andy H Christ

    Like checking up on a sick relative at Christmas. You don't want to but you have to.

    28 Jul 2005, 13:06

  6. Lance Rocke (Michael Blodgett) as "Z-man", obviously assumed to be a man for the whole film, and who has been coming onto Lance for the past 10 minutes, reveals to Lances relief that... "you're a broad!..."

    " a Damn ugly broad!"

    Z-man decapitates Lance with an ornate sword

    "Beyond the valley of the Dolls

    28 Jul 2005, 13:17

  7. Which kinda segues to the awesome:

    Osgood (Joe E. Brown): (upon learning that Daphne is really a man) "Well, nobody's perfect."

    (from Some Like It Hot, 1959)

    28 Jul 2005, 14:24

  8. Carter

    Aaaargh! No, Craw, no! This is precisely what I'm talking about! It was funny the first time, but not when it's been shown to death everywhere! You'll be giving me "Funny how?" next…

    Oh, and 'Some Like It Hot' is shit.

    28 Jul 2005, 14:57

  9. Oh aye, I see your point. Not about it being shit though, cos it ain't.

    Will this redeem me?

    Maude Lebowski: "Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?"
    The Dude: "'Scuse me?"
    Maude Lebowski: "Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?"
    The Dude: "I was talking about my rug."
    Maude Lebowski: "You're not interested in sex?"
    The Dude: "You mean coitus?

    28 Jul 2005, 17:17

  10. Good list, but the Superman II quote surely should have been:

    President: Dear God …

    General Zod: Zod.

    And hereŽs one of my favourites in the American Beauty gem:

    Fast Food Worker: I donŽt think youŽd fit in here.

    Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey): But I have fast food experience. (points to cv)

    28 Jul 2005, 19:11

  11. Moz

    Some glaring omissions there, although good call on the Usual Suspects one. From Spinal Tap:

    Derek Smalls: Can I raise a practical question at this point? Are we going to do Stonehenge tomorrow night?

    David St. Hubbins (aka James Ellis): No we're not gonna fucking do Stonehenge!

    Or the classic from Pulp Fiction:

    Samuel L. Muthafuckin' Jackson: Mmm, mmm, this IS a tasty burger!

    Face it, all lists like this are crap, there are always glaring omissions and shit lines/movies/songs/albums,etc.

    28 Jul 2005, 23:11

  12. But it's fun to share

    29 Jul 2005, 09:42

  13. Carter

    It's true.

    Two criminally-neglected zingers from the mighty Moz there. My bad.

    Craw, you're getting closer but I can honestly say that 'The Big Lebowski' seems to have made little-to-no real impact on me. However, if I were going to have a Coen Brothers quote it'd have to be this pearler from Steve Buscemi in 'Fargo':

    " 'No'? That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a FOUNTAIN of conversation there, buddy. Hell, that's a GEYSER."

    29 Jul 2005, 12:20

  14. Cathy

    I like the list with the following reservations

    1) Fuck you, Some Like it Hot is still awesome.

    2) Way too much Harrison Ford

    3) if you're going to quote A League of Their Own you have to go for the following:

    Dottie Hinson: It just got too hard.
    Jimmy Dugan: It's supposed to be hard! If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great!

    31 Jul 2005, 16:27

  15. Napoleon Dynamite

    "You ever take it over any sweet jumps"

    I have some real good quoting skills.

    01 Aug 2005, 11:18

  16. Casper

    From Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
    Merry (Dominic Monoughan):

    "This, my friends, is a pint!"

    Gary Oldman in Leon:

    "EVERYONE!!!!!!!"

    Samuel L. Jackson in Jackie Brown:

    "AK47, when you've absolutely positively got to kill every mother fucker in the room!

    02 Aug 2005, 04:12

  17. Lloyd Kaufman

    From the film Terror Firmer (by Troma – of course)

    Larry Benjamin:
    Now where are those big tittet women at!

    02 Aug 2005, 11:32

  18. Ah the standards keep rising and rising…

    03 Aug 2005, 17:53

  19. Roisin

    Dude, I liked your list – a resounding YAY! for any mentions of The Flash, what a legend :)

    I don't think I can think of any really definitive movie quotes, but my favourites of the moment are:

    Kim Jong Il (Team America: World Police) Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why can't people be more interrigent….rike me? (intro to "I'm So Ronery", which is worth a thread of its own)

    Brian Cohen (Monty Python's Life of Brian) You are all individuals….you are all different
    Crowd outside his window: We are all individuals….we are all different
    One man: I'm not

    (or at least, that's the jist of that scene, I know it's a total cliche to quote Python, but I love that wee bit)

    I'll come back if I think of more….but surely Short Circuit 2 has better quotes than Short Circuit, which to my mind is inferior in every way (especially in its sad lack of Mike McKean, as dude rocks) I'm stealing this one from the page on the imdb:

    Reporter: Mr. Five, Mr. Five, how do you feel?
    Johnny Five: How do I feel? I feel… ALIVE!

    04 Aug 2005, 14:22

  20. The Big Lebowski contains within it the entire top ten quotes in movie history. Yes, it does. The top three, in no particular order:

    Jesus: You ready to be fucked man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
    The Dude: Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

    The Dude: Did you ever hear of "The Seattle Seven"?
    Maude: Mmm.
    The Dude: That was me… and six other guys.

    The Dude: No Walter, it did not look like Larry was about to crack.

    And for a bonus:

    Walter: Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
    The Dude: Look, man…
    Walter: Dude, please? Is this your homework, Larry?
    The Dude: Just ask him about the car.
    Walter: Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
    The Dude: Is that your car out front?
    Walter: Is this your homework, Larry?
    The Dude: We know it's his fucking homework! Where's the fucking money, you little brat?
    Walter: Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?
    The Dude: Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter…
    Walter: You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car.
    The Dude: And the fucking money.
    Walter: And the fucking money. And, we know that this is your homework.
    The Dude: We're going to cut your dick off, Larry.
    Walter: You're killing your father, Larry!

    05 Aug 2005, 03:19

  21. Carter

    I have no idea what any of that means. However, I did get hold of a second copy of 'The Flash' for a quid from Cash Generator the other day and it still holds up well after all these years. Probably try and flog it on eBay for a profit or something…

    Also, I finally got round to watching 'Napoleon Dynamite' the other night and hereby nominate this zinger –

    Deb: "What are you drawing?"
    Napoleon: "It's a liger."
    Deb: "What's a liger?"
    Napoleon Dynamite: "It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic."

    Or, of course, the immortal chat-up line to which we must surely all aspire –

    Napoleon: "I like your sleeves. They're real big.

    05 Aug 2005, 12:30

  22. Napoleon Dynamite

    My earlier chat up line is better:

    I see you're drinking 1% milk, is that cos you think you'tr fat? because you're not – you couldbe drinking whole milk

    05 Aug 2005, 15:19

  23. I'm glad to see Mr Jolson included. I think my favourite moment from Ghostbusters is:

    Dr. Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd): Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
    Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
    Mayor: Is this true?
    Peter Vnekman (Bill Murray): Yes it's true. This man has no dick.

    It may border on the over-quoted but still a great moment.

    05 Aug 2005, 18:26

  24. Cath

    The Flash is coming out on DVD if you're interested. Dawson sr's not bad in it either

    05 Aug 2005, 22:50

  25. Carter

    WHAT?! Is this true? Had a scuffle around and can't seem to locate any info on the fucker…

    08 Aug 2005, 12:20

  26. Cathy

    semi-false alarm, it's the 22 episode TV show which is coming out:

    www.tvshowsondvd.com:

    Flash, The – Finally…The Flash!
    Posted by David Lambert
    8/02/2005

    As you know, TVShowsOnDVD owner Gord Lacey spent time last week at the VSDA show in Las Vegas. While there, Gord heard something very good from a source we think is very reliable, and we are now ready to share it with you:

    Flash – The Complete Series IS in the works, and WILL be on DVD in the future! The studio hasn't said anything officially about this release yet, so we don't have a date or any other details, but stay tuned and we'll let you know more when we do.

    The 1990 series starring John Wesley Shipp as "Barry Allen/The Flash" and Amanda Pays as "Tina McGee" was short-lived (22 episodes) but has become a fan favorite. The show was based on the classic DC Comics superhero about a police scientist who gains super-speed in an accident involving lightning and chemicals, and who uses his powers to fight crime. M. Emmet Walsh, Jason Bernard, Angela Bassett, Priscilla Pointer, Denise Crosby, Jeri Ryan, Bill Mumy, David Cassidy as "The Mirror Master", and Mark Hamill as "The Trickster" are among the many guest stars in this cult classic.

    08 Aug 2005, 17:45

  27. Casper

    I forgot one (and possibly the best)

    From Transformers: The Movie

    Hot Rod:
    IT'S THE END OF THE ROAD GALVATRON!

    09 Aug 2005, 10:43

  28. Dean McIlwraith

    Swet fucking mother of all that is good and pure, that's even better news! Hell, I've got the original TV-movie trilogy on video but never thought the series would see the light of day… Good skills, madam.

    Oh, and Casper, you're utterly ridiculous.

    09 Aug 2005, 12:21

  29. you're welcome

    now for the bad news

    They're talking about casting Orlando Bloom in the 2006 remake

    Disappointing!

    10 Aug 2005, 16:13

  30. Buckaroo Banzai

    From Buckaroo Banzai across the eighth dimension

    General: I've got enough medals to snap a christmas tree, but I'm still so scared I might lose my fudge

    11 Aug 2005, 10:48

  31. The Dude

    A seconder for The Big Lebowski… Perhaps a shot of The Dude, glasses on, soaked from the toilet bowl, now perched on it saying "obviously, you're not a golfer" first 5 mins of the film.

    Sterling work Carter, sterling.

    25 Aug 2005, 22:23

  32. Another supporting vote for Big Lebowski from this (humble) blogger.

    What a fantastic entry, I'd never have the patience to do something like this, it was a pleasure to read. Good job.

    27 Aug 2005, 00:06

  33. Lauren

    Gosh, a thorough list indeed. May I make a couple of very humble suggestions:

    From American Graffiti:

    Carol: Your car is uglier than I am. Whoops, that didn't come out right.

    And from Quadrophenia:

    Steph: Going to be one of the faces?
    Jimmy: What do you mean, I AM one of the faces!

    12 Sep 2005, 13:10

  34. Carter

    Aw, shit, dude, I was trying to think of one from 'American Graffiti' but couldn't quite nail it! Respect for coming up with that one, it's got to be one of the best lines in there.

    12 Sep 2005, 13:35

  35. Bashmore

    Sweeet I've just finally got through that list…and you included F'ing Grosse Pointe Blank…ace film,made we want to go into hired killings…
    I'd like to add just two quotes,which some up my life in their entirety….immature and silly/music related…from two films in my top 5 films of all time. Dunno if they're the best quotes from the film, but they are the ones that I always remember…so cop these bad boys:
    From 'Robin Hood: Men In Tights' (my favourite film of ALL time):

    Prince John: Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?
    Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
    Prince John: You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"?
    Latrine: Yeah. Used to be "Shithouse."

    – i almost wee a bit everytime i hear that…and yes it is immature

    and from the frankly awesome John Cusack in the film for every music fan whose crap with the birds – Carter especially – High Fidelity….

    Rob: Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians.

    They stand out for this badboy!

    13 Sep 2005, 01:06

  36. Courts

    Crispinino!! GREAT post. I always love your opinions on pop culture… I'm not taking the time to read all these comments to see if this one was in there, but, from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off…"

    Katie Bueller: "We got a speeding ticket, another speeding ticket, and I lost the Vermont Deal because of her!"

    Tom Bueller: "I think we should shoot her."

    My favorite movie line ever.

    24 Oct 2005, 16:23

  37. Carter

    Well, where to start with the great Ferris Bueller, really – though my vote would possibly go to this fabulous moment –

    Rooney (Jeffrey Jones): "Uh, Mr Peterson, I think I owe you an apology, sir…"
    Cameron (Alan Ruck): " – WELL I SHOULD SAY YOU DO!!!"

    You, Courts, are a truly dismal bitch and of course you're always welcome around these parts. Which is more than can be said for me, as I'm now officially frozen out of blogs after getting fired from my temp job for being a wag. Mind you, as far as reasons for getting fired go, that's pretty high up my list of ones that I can live with…

    26 Oct 2005, 00:27

  38. Cath

    good work as far as firing goes!

    This can't be the end of your online vitriol? Did Hitler give up after the Munich Putsch of 1923? no he did not…

    alright bad example, but my point stands.

    Out of interest how come you guys are allowed to write the pantomime when neither of you are current students?

    08 Nov 2005, 14:27

  39. Carter

    It's never the end, Cath, never the end! There will be new musings appearing soon on the "Carter's Corner" section of www.thecartermanoeuvre.com – thanks to James and the boys for allowing the spirit of inane ramblings to live on! I quite enjoyed your Hitler analogy, though while I myself am an equally misunderstood man with only the best of intentions, I suspect that I will never do any good for the economy.

    Oh, and we're allowed to write the Panto because we are The Nation's Premier Comedy Duo™. If you don't believe us, here is indisputable proof: link. That's right.

    09 Nov 2005, 14:30


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