June 06, 2006

This one's for my Mum

A Woman's "If"

If you can keep your head when all the family
Are loosing theirs and blaming it on you,
Because the Christmas turkey’s burned to cinders
And all the vegetables are mushy too;
If you can work from nine to five, and then some,
If you can get the dinner cooked by six,
If you can read the kids a book at bedtime,
Then softly tidy up the lego bricks:

If you can do the school run in the mornings,
With two bored kids behind you yelling “Mum!”
Resist the urge to knock their heads together,
And try and make the journey something fun;
If you can cope with paint stains on your clothing,
The midnight feeding and the constant stress,
If you can say to her with self–assurance
“I won’t let you go out wearing that dress!”

If you can cope with no appreciation
For all the little things you say and do,
Share all your time between your work and family,
Forget there’s not much time left just for you;
If you can earn the funds for all the school fees
If you can run a business like a pro,
If you can keep your cool at parents meetings,
And through it all, act like you’re in the know:

If you can keep the house and garden spotless,
And throw a dinner party, just for fun,
Find out the cat has eaten all the trifle,
So in ten minutes make another one;
If you can keep the peace between the factions
Of small child one and small child two at tea,
If you can do all this, and keep your temper,
Then Kipling, you’re a better lass than me!


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