November 29, 2006

Woodpeckers

I would like to coin a new deffinition of a word.

Woodpecker: n, A foul up, mess or general misfortune of the slightly humourous variety. See also, SNAFU, FUBAR.

This comes from a story I heard on Home Truths on Radio 4 ages ago, when John Peel was still presenting it.

The story went like this: Two new parents have a small child of about 2 years old, still learning to talk etc. Suddenly, one day, small child starts coming out with the phrase “ooh bugger.” Parents devastated, shocked, accusations and pointed fingers fly over who has been swearing in front of small child. Until parents suddenly notice that small child is actually pointing at a porcelain figurine on the mantelpiece of, you guessed it, a woodpecker. Small child was intending to say “woodpecker” but being only small could only mannage “oohbugger”. Hilarity ensued.

I am therefore determined to use the term “a woodpecker” to describe some sort of accident that might elicit the phrase used by said small child.

Such as, for example, this morning when I confused my Monday and Wednesday Shakespeare lectures, and arrived at the lecture theatre at 2, only to find the lecture was at 1.

Woodpecker.


November 28, 2006

Bored…





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November 22, 2006

One of the funniest things in the world…

... Is listening to a clanger faking an orgasm.

And just to clear it up, this is what I mean by a clanger:


November 15, 2006

Uphill struggle

So I have no idea what to write about for my Anthony and Cleopatra essay

There are no set essay titles – you have to come up with your own.

I went to see my tutor today, and still have no idea what to write about. I wish she’d just given me some ideas to think about, but instead I had to make all the suggestions. The first thing I mentioned, she completely dismissed as rubbish… I just feel like my best will never be good enough for her. I feel guilty enough as it is for missing the beginning of the seminar so many times because of trying to get back from Liverpool. I don’t feel clever enough to be doing this.

I have to get all my research done by the beginning of the holidays, because I’m going home for Christmas, and will not be able to get to the library.

I can’t find any of the books my tutor suggested I look at in the library. Why is it so SHIT!!!

I’ve been doing so much – trying to keep on top of all ther reasing for all my modules – I didn’t read the Marlowe, ok, but I’ve always read the PoF stories before the seminar, I’ve always done the assignments for PoF, I’m trying to write a novel for my PWP – then re-writing a chapter of the same so it gets to 10 000 words of submittable material, I started my 2000wd story way back in week 1, and have been working on it ever since, so now it’s just about ready to hand in, I’ve read both the novels I have to report on for PoF. I try really hard every week to get back from Liverpool in time for my Shakespeare Special Topics seminar – this means getting up between 5 and 6 in the morning to get a train, which is likely as not delayed, so screwing it all up, then if I’m really pushed for time getting a taxi from the station (between £8-18, depending on if it’s from Cov or Leam.) And I still feel like I’m drowning.

I don’t want to be here anymore.


October 31, 2006

Shower Power

I really hate the fact that our shower is right in the middle of the house. Downstairs, within full view of the Lounge and the Kitchen – the two main areas where people tend to congregate.

So call me an absolute prude, and ok, maybe I am a bit, but I really detest having to make a dash for the shower clad in nothing but a bath towel, within full view, often, of my flatmates, half of whom are boys.

And it wouldn’t be quite so bad, if it was only flatmates, but I tend to shower quite early in the evenings a lot of the time, and often people still have friends over here at that time. I’ve had to run the gauntlet in nothing but a towel in front of people I don’t know too well, and occasionally random strangers, not to mention one creepy individual who I can’t mention, but who’s around a lot…

Alright, so maybe I’m overreacting – I’ve worn dresses rather more revealing than my large turquoise bath towel, (I’ve been seen, once or twice in a bikini, for goodness sakes, but then only on holiday and at the beach, and usually only my family know who I am, so it’s ok) but the thing is, it’s all about context. Bikinis are acceptable on the beach, and this is the important bit – other people are wearing them too. When you’re the only one around wearing one, you feel a little over-exposed. Similarly, being the only one in a towel tends to make one feel a little nervous that you’re not with the dress code.

Besides, towels – even my lovely big fluffy turquoise ones – are so liable to be compromised, by the slightest gust of wind, or misplaced hand-hold or even someone yelling “boo!” and you suddenly drop it. You just don’t feel very safe. Or at least I don’t. Plus, of course, in this weather it’s rather chilly.

Am I the only person who feels this way? Or am I not alone in finding that good personal hygeine always runs the risk of several shades of embarrasment?


October 27, 2006

Generic Update

Well, I’m not fit and well, The central heating is not on and working, but I’m down in Liverpuddle again, where we’ve just fixed the boiler, and it’s toasty and warm.

I am however, rather hungry, because somehow or other we missed tea. Ho hum. It’s now got to the point where we might as well wait for breakfast. Quite apart from the fact that there’s no food in the house. Meh.

Feeling a little odd… Ok, but odd.

Oh, and Tom, if you’re reading this – check the comments on the last entry. :)


October 20, 2006

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Goblins

Yikes, so all that Shakespeare…
Well most of ti was pretty good actually. especially Anthony and Cleopatra (Anthony played by Patrick Stewart!! who was also Prospero in the Tempest!!)
On the Friday, Doug came down, on Saturday we mooched around in Stratford and had a very very nice dinner in the Dirty Duck, and in general a very good weekend was had by all.

By comparison, this week has been a bit on the dull side. The only real point of interest is that me and the boys in the house have started doing some RPG stuff – killing goblins and the like. It’s good fun (says she, jumping up a few more points on the geek scale… )

The central heating in the house is refusing to work. I don’t know what’s the problem, but if it’s not fixed by next week, I’m going to have words with the Landlord.

Currently, I’m down in good ol’ Liverpuddle, feeling rather ill, sadly. Bloody freshers’ flu. Although it’s not quite as bad as it could have been: I feel like I’m on the mend.

Hopefully, by my next update I will be fit and well, and the heating will be working, and all will be rosy in the land of me…


October 10, 2006

Brittish Rail Sucks.

Since I’ve been back in Leam, I have been doing a lot of mooching around, a lot of organising, and not a lot else.
So I went to Liverpool for the weekend, which was much fun.
Getting back yesterday for my 10:0 seminar was not.
Got up at 6:0 to get a train that ought to have got me back in plenty of time, but oh no… My train was delayed because of a faulty windscreen wiper and I missed my connection, so had to get a 15 pound taxi from the station, and still was half an hour late. Grrr.

Monday has turned into my Shakespeare bonanza day, with no less than two seminars and a lecture – 4hours in total – devoted to him and his plays. That’s a lot of Shakespeare.
However, this week is going to be Shakespeare bonanza week, as I’m being made to see Julius Ceasar tonight, The Tempest tomorrow (and have another 1h lecture on it before hand) and Anthony and Cleopatra on Friday. I also have a “Tempest Study day” all day Friday, and a talk on Saturday morning, in Stratford, on Anthony and Cleopatra.
Now, I’m as big a fan of the Bard as any, but that’s a hell of a lot of Shakespeare for the one week, and a hell of a lot of bus journeys to Stratford and back.

My timetable on the whole is a bit odd and rather sparse: Monday 4h, Tuesday 0h, Wednesday 1h, Thursday 3h plus a “drop in” PWP sesion that could take any time at all, Friday 0h, but there may be the occasional workshop of 2h. It’s all a bit crazy.


October 04, 2006

Roll on Christmas

So, I’m back, nice and comfy at 25a, in a rather nice bedroom with pink curtains, which for some reason gives me the impression that it’s French. don’t ask me why. The workings of my insane mind I expect. Meh. Was dreaming about lectures last night, that can’t be good…

Lectures start today, whoop de do, so I at least have something to keep myself occupied.

I currently have £30 in my purse, and £20 of that is going to be claimed today by various lecturers who will give me theatre tickets and a couple of reams of photocopying in return. Not a fair trade, I feel.

I’m drinking Chai tea, which reminds me of Maelstrom… ah… what fun… Smells like gingerbread…

Have been getting back into my sewing lately. Annoyingly the needle on the machine is broken, so I’m going to have to get a new one today. I think the people in the haberdashery will be getting sick of me by the end of the year…

Think that’s all to report for now.

Oh yes, and Skype is wonderful :)


September 29, 2006

Back to Uni

Well, I’m heading back to Leamington on Sunday.

I may be bringing a dishwasher.


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