The Little House Who No–one Loved *
Once upon a time, there was a house. People used to come from all over to see the house, because it had six bedrooms, and was therefore rare. And they would look around the house, and say, “This is a nice house. The rooms are large and having one toilet for every two people is not in the least bit unnecessary. Maybe I shall live in this house while attending a nearby university.”
But then they saw the kitchen, and went away again. “I have been tricked!” they would say. “I thought this house was nice, but now I see that it has no kitchen. Where it should have been, I instead found a small cupboard with kitchen-like objects in.”
And so the house became very lonely and sad. “Why must I have been built with such a tiny kitchen?” it groaned. “No one will live in me and I shall grow old and be demolished all alone. Oh, what a cruel fate for a poor house like me!”
Until one day, a group of six eager young students decided to live together, and they found that they should have started looking for houses weeks ago; for the only place left they could find was the sad and lonely house **. And some of them looked around the house and said, “This is a nice house. The rooms are large and having one toilet for every two people is not in the least bit unnecessary. Maybe we should live in this house while attending our university, even though it’s less convenient than Alan’s current house and he’d have to get a bike and he’s lazy.”
And then they saw the thing that the landlord called a kitchen and they said, “I have been tricked! I thought this house was nice, but now I see that it has no kitchen. Where it should have been, I instead found various kitchen-like appliances in a small storage unit.”
And they went home and decided that they probably wouldn’t get the house, but they should probably just check what the other eager young student thought even though she hadn’t seen the house and so couldn’t possibly understand the smallness of the kitchen. And so the story should have ended…
But it was not to be. In a fit of madness, one eager young student phoned up the landlord and said that the group would take the house, before happily informing the others of this. They began to think and worry, for while no one had refused to live in the sad and lonely house, equally no one seemed to be that enthusiastic about living there and maybe the collective apathy was clouding their judgement.
But then when they thought about it some more, they liked the house and took it and hopefully they all live happily ever after in the house that isn’t sad and lonely any more.
* It’s actually quite big.
** Technically untrue.